


You're Getting Married and All I'm Getting Is A Broken Heart

by amemorymaze



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 06:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amemorymaze/pseuds/amemorymaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine wonders what it is he is supposed to do now that his brother is marrying his best friend/his ex-boyfriend/the man that he is hopelessly in love with. (Slight Cooper/Kurt, but Kurt/Blaine focused)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Getting Married and All I'm Getting Is A Broken Heart

_Dear Diary,_

_They're getting married. **Married!** This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to break up after a couple of weeks. Not stay together for ever and ever. I have no chance with him now. _

_And now I feel bad, I shouldn't be thinking that. I should be happy because they're thrilled and excited and they can't wait until they get married._

_I don't even know what to write, my emotions are_ _everywhere_ _. But San's hidden all my sad DVD's and she's eaten all the ice cream. I can't even have a pity party. :(_

_So I guess I'll just have to get out my guitar and sing Taylor Swift until she gets pissed off. I know you'll read this Santana so please just give me my DVDs back!_

_~~GOD DAMN IT BLAINE. YOUR DVDS ARE IN THE FREEZER, NOW WILL YOU STOP PLAYING TAYLOR SWIFT EVERY SINGLE NIGHT?~~ _

 

**

 

When it starts, Blaine doesn't think anything of it. He's happy that his brother and his best friend are getting on so well together. Maybe it'll help improve his relationship with Cooper even more, because despite how much better it has been since Blaine's junior year, they're still not perfect. Blaine thinks Cooper being friends with Kurt will be such a good thing for everyone.

He still has hope at this point. Hope that Kurt will realise that he's still _so in love_ with Blaine. That they will rekindle their old love and get married, move into a house with a white picket fence, have two kids, a dog and a goldfish.

It's still possible.

 

**

 

"We kissed."

Blaine freezes, phone again his ear, heart thudding painfully in his chest. He doesn't know what to say. What _can_ he say? Pretend that he's _oh so happy_ that they kissed, even though Blaine's happy ending is supposed to be with Kurt. All the hope that been building inside of him over the last few years suddenly leaves him as he takes a breath; making him feel empty inside.

"I didn't even know he was gay," Blaine says into the phone, the first thing he could think of that wasn't, _why isn't that me?_

Kurt sighs dejectedly. "Sexuality is fluid," he recites, as if he had said this a million times already, "that's what he told me. He's attracted to a person, not a gender."

"Oh," Blaine says, "Wow. Okay."

"Blaine," Kurt mumbles, "Say something?"

"I- I don't," Blaine runs a hand through his hair, trying to keep his emotions at bay, so glad that Kurt didn't come round his apartment to tell him. "I'm just shocked, is all."

"This is okay, right?" Kurt asks, voice coming out hushed through the receiver, he carries on before Blaine can reply, "It's just- I really, um, like him. And I know, it might be a little weird because he's _your brother_ but, I wanna give it a chance. But, if it's weird for you, I won't let anything more happen. I don't want to jeopardise my relationship with you- for something that has barely started..."

Blaine's barely got a hold of his emotions as he listens to Kurt talk. How can he tell Kurt he doesn't want him to date Cooper? He doesn't want Kurt to fall in love with him. He's supposed to fall in love with Blaine. That's how it's supposed to end. He closes his eyes and rests his head again the wall behind him.

"No, no." Blaine says, trying to sound happy and knows he is failing miserably, "I want you to be happy, you should ask him out on a date or something."

"Really?" Kurt says, cautiously.

"Of course."

"I love you," Kurt says with a sigh. "You're my best friend, Blaine."

"You're mine too." Blaine replies, trying to keep his voice from wavering. The two are silent for the few minutes before Blaine says, "I should go, Tana will be home soon. I said I'd make the dinner tonight." It isn't exactly a lie, Blaine did have to make dinner tonight. But it isn't why he wants to hang up.

"Okay," Kurt says, oblivious to Blaine's emotional turmoil, "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, yeah," Blaine replies, "See you."

And a few seconds later Blaine hears the beep of the call disconnecting and he sits still for a few seconds, phone in hand, head resting against the wall, before the tears gather in his eyes. As the tears fall down his cheeks, Blaine knows he did the right thing. No matter how much it hurt. How much his heart is tearing apart. He knows that there is no way he could've stopped anything happening between the two.

So Blaine lays down on his bed, tears falling from his eyelashes, hoping that nothing will happen between the two of them. Kurt did say it has barely started. So maybe Blaine still has a chance.

It's still possible.

 

**

 

Santana and Blaine have a weird sort of friendship. It started when she was looking for a place out in New York, after Kurt and Rachel both moved places, and Blaine really didn't want to stay in the dorms at NYADA. He claims it's because he sees enough of those stuck-up students during the day, but Santana has her suspicions that there were other reasons for it as well.

So when Blaine found out Santana needed a place, he got in touch and somehow they ended up living together. It was extremely awkward at first since they didn't really know each other. They had arguments but of course they were inevitable. But after a few months, they had settled into a routine; watching TV together, studying, making dinner for each other. And even though Santana would never admit it, she loved this consistency. Even when they would argue at each other and storm out of the apartment, they would still be there the next day.

Without even realising it, they had become family.

So when Santana walks through the door, she's angry at first. Blaine was supposed to be making dinner. It's his turn and she's really fucking hungry. But as she strides into his room, he's asleep on his bed, still in his clothes from earlier today. Her anger dissolves quickly with one look at him.

 _God,_ he's a mess. Eyes red and puffy, obvious he has been crying, clothing all rumpled, bow tie askew.

She frowns slightly, wondering what the hell could've happened to make him like this. So instead of waking him and insisting that he makes dinner like she would normally do, Santana moves over to him as quietly as possible.

Taking his shoes off and then his bowtie, she tries to pull the sheet over him. Which turns out to be impossible because Blaine does not want to _move._ She huffs, hoping he's slightly more comfortable, and leaves him room quietly to make a start on their dinner and thinks that she should call Sam to come round because he's so much better at this stuff than her.

Blaine finally wakes _after_ Santana has finished dinner, just as Sam and Santana are setting the table.

"Sorry, San," Blaine says, yawning as he walks into the room, "I fell asleep."

"Uh huh," She replies, serving their food onto the dishes. "You look like shit."

Santana watches as Blaine just shrugs and flops down into his chair. She hates seeing Blaine like this; distraught and devastated.

She hears Sam and Blaine have a murmured conversation as she brings their plates to the table.

Blaine smiles weakly at Santana as he looks at the plate, "Spaghetti, my favourite. Thanks, 'Tana."

She sits down. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get used to it, Anderson. You're cooking tomorrow now, instead."

"Sounds fair," he mumbles. Santana shares a look with Sam before they start their meal. Eating in silence, all attempts at conversation quickly diffused.

She's never really liked silence. But, it's even worse tonight. They're always teasing each other, laughing or having small arguments. It's never silent. But Santana knows Blaine will talk to them eventually. He has never been good at keeping his emotions to himself.

 

**

 

That night, after watching one of her best friends break down in front of her, she lies in bed. Thinking about how he's probably in bed, trying to cry silently, not wanting to disturb her. And seeing Blaine affected like this by Kurt kills her. He's family to her. But she knows there isn't much she can do about it.

Sneaking into his room at 2:49am, she crawls onto his bed, whispering, "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Even though she knows that he knows that it might not be okay for a while yet.

 

**

 

Months pass and after Kurt and Cooper's 10 month anniversary, Blaine finally thinks he's in an okay place with his brother and ex-boyfriend/best friend dating. He's hung out with them together a lot, and it hurt. It still hurts but Blaine can see how happy the two of them are, so he doesn't say anything.

It's a Saturday morning when Blaine goes over to Cooper's apartment, returning the DVDs he had borrowed months ago. Plus, he hadn't seen his brother in at least a month, what with him being so busy at college and stuff.

When the door opens, it's not Cooper on the other side.

"Blaine, hey!" Kurt says, brightly, "I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Kurt," Blaine exclaims, giving him a quick hug. "I know! Everything has been so busy with school and working at that restaurant."

"I know what you mean," Kurt says. "Everything's been so crazy recently, what with my promotion and moving in here, I really haven't had much of a social life."

"You moved in?" Blaine asks him, confused.

"Yeah..." Kurt says, eyebrows raised. "I thought Coop told you?"

Blaine just shrugs, trying to look nonchalant. "Nope."

Kurt stands there in the door way to the apartment looking awkward, "Oh, I'm sorry. It's nothing personal, it's just been moving so fast and-"

Blaine laughs, sounding fake but if Kurt notices it, he doesn't say anything, "Don't worry, I know my brother. He's just..."

"Cooper?" Kurt suggests.

"Yeah, anyway, I was just here to give Cooper his DVDs back, so here," Blaine says, handing Kurt the bag. "Anyway, I'd better be off, I promised Sam we'd marathon all of The Avengers films tonight because San's going out and you know how much she hates those movies..."

Kurt laughs, "Yeah, that's true. I'll call you tomorrow and we can finally get back into our Friday brunches. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. That's fine. I'll see you later!" Blaine turns and walks away, as fast as he can without looking suspicious, away from the apartment. _Their_ apartment. He practically runs down the stairs and onto the street. He just wants out.

_**_

He's sitting on the couch when San gets home, in pitch black, not doing anything. She takes her shoes and coat off and slams the door shut.

She walks into the lounge, turning the light on, ignoring Blaine's muttering of annoyance. She puts an old Disney DVD on, The Little Mermaid, knowing it's Blaine's go-to comfort movie. Sitting down next to him on the couch, she waits for him to talk.

They're about 20 minutes into the film, when Blaine relaxes next to her and mutters, "I went round Cooper's today."

Santana hums in acknowledgement.

"They're living together."

She doesn't say anything in reply. There isn't anything to say. She just gets up off of the couch and gets some ice-cream from the freezer.

Sitting back down, she moves closer to him and lets him rest his head on her shoulder, opening the ice-cream tub and hands him a spoon. They watch the rest of the movie in near silence, eating ice-cream.

They could still break up, Blaine thinks.

It's still possible.

 

**

 

Blaine doesn’t know what to think at first when Cooper turns up unannounced at his apartment on a Friday afternoon. It is Cooper, he has always been like this so it doesn't really shock Blaine. He just makes them coffee and they sit down on the couch.

Blaine certainly hadn't been expecting Cooper to ask him what he did. But Blaine managed to keep the smile on his face, years of practice finally paying off.

When Cooper checked with Blaine, to make sure it was okay, Blaine couldn't say no, so he said it was no problem and that he was totally over him. Had been for years.

Cooper couldn't see through the lie and so the two boys went out shopping.

 

**

 

It was only a week later when Kurt hammered on his door, waiting for Blaine to answer. And when he did, he was immediately caught up in a hug from Kurt. Finally, Blaine thought.

But then Kurt smiles at Blaine and lifts up his left hand where a gorgeous, sparkling, brand new ring sits on his finger, and he shouts, "I'M GETTING MARRIED!"

 

**

 

Maybe it's not so possible anymore.

 

**

 

_Dear Diary,_

_It's officially one month until the wedding. So far, I've been able to stay away from the_ happy couple _, making excuses about being busy with school work, deadlines and playing at the bar round the corner._

_But tomorrow, Kurt is making me go round his so we can start putting the table favours together._

_On the upside, Cooper won't be there. On the downside, (always the downside) it's for **their wedding!**_

_Fuck._

_Why can't I just get over him?! It'd make life so much easier._

_Also, maybe a new roommate and best friend would help as my current ones KEEP BARGING INTO MY ROOM WHEN I'M TRYING TO HAVE SOME ALONE TIME._

 

**

 

"'Sup, man." Sam says, stretching himself out over the foot of Blaine's bed.

 "Seriously?" Blaine says incredulously as Santana slips into the room and snatches the diary out of Blaine's hands.

“I love Kurt so much! His hair and his eyes, ohhh, he's so gorgeous," Santana smirks, trying to impersonate Blaine's voice.

"I do not sound anything like that, San!" Blaine whines, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout.

Sam laughs, "Don't worry, Blainers. We've both read that diary, you have nothing to hide."

Blaine sighs, "Don't remind me. I'm not in the mood for you both to just make fun of me all night."

Santana drops the book onto Blaine's bedside table and jumps onto the bed with the two boys.

"There is way too much testosterone in here," she says, squirming until she's laying with her head near Blaine's thigh, legs stretched over Sam's torso.

"So leave," Blaine says with a sigh, leaning his head back against the headboard.

"Seriously, dude, what's up?" Sam asks, turning head so he's looking at Blaine.

Blaine closes his eyes. "How am I supposed to do this?" He asks in a small voice. "How am I supposed to watch the man I'm in love with marry _my brother?_ I don't even have a chance at all anymore. It's not like I can tell Kurt I love him, because what if it wrecks his and Cooper's relationship and I-"

"Dude, calm down," Sam says.

"No, I can't. Because I can't even get over him and I wish I could-"

Sam looks up from his position and grabs Blaine's foot, tickling him. Immediately Blaine starts laughing.

"S-Sam. STOP, oh my god. San! Help!" Blaine pleads between his laughter.

Santana just smiles up at him before reaching up to grab his sides and tickling him there.

"Guys! Please. Can't. B-breathe." Blaine gasps, laughing hysterically.

"Nope," the two reply at the same time.

Then Santana smirks, "Okay, we'll stop... if," Blaine groans internally, this can't be good, "You let us take you to a gay bar tonight!"

"No, no. I'm not even 21 yet." Blaine says, as Santana and Sam stop tickling him for a few minutes, letting him speak.

"Fake ID's, man." Sam chips in.

"Sam! You're not even gay!" Blaine says, disapproving of the idea.

"Doesn't mean I can't have fun," he replies.

Santana leans over him, ready to start tickling him again, "You need to get laid, Blaine. I know you haven't had any in months!  I'll even clear out of the apartment so you can get some ass."

"Months? Dude, you totally lied to me!" Sam says, appalled, "But I shotgun being your wingman!"

Blaine just groans, knowing he will never win this argument. "Fine. Whatever."

 

**

 

Blaine walks to Kurt's the next day as the train is much too loud and maybe some fresh air will help his hangover. Last night had been interesting, to say the least. Honestly, Blaine couldn't remember much of it. Santana and Sam kept giving him more and more to drink.

He has a vague memory of making out with someone on the dance floor but not much else. He remembers getting there though, Santana trying to hook him up, Sam staring shamelessly at the girls as they dance. He hates his best friends for giving him so much alcohol, he hasn't had that much to drink in months!

The elevator in Kurt and Cooper's (it still hurts) apartment building creaks as it moves. The motion makes Blaine's head throb painfully so he closes his eyes until he hears the quiet ding and the rumble as the doors open.

Blaine knocks on their door as quietly as he can and Kurt answers quickly, taking a look at him before saying, "Coffee's on the table."

Blaine follows him into the kitchen and slumps into a chair, grabbing the mug and taking a long sip, moaning quietly, "God, I love you so much."

Kurt just hums at him, "As you should."

It takes Blaine a few more minutes to realise something. "Wait, how'd you know-"

"That you'd be hungover?" Kurt cuts in, smirking at him. "Well, when I got up this morning, I had some very

interesting texts on my phone..."

Blaine's jaw drops and he blushes brightly. "Oh no," he moans, avoiding Kurt's gaze, "what did they say?"

"It took a while to decipher all the typo's and such, but they were mostly along the lines of," he says, pausing for a minute taking his phone out of his pocket, looking up the texts before continuing, trying to imitate Blaine's voice."Kurt... You're the 'bestest'."

"Oh my god," Blaine groans, leaning across the table to snatch the phone out of Kurt's hands.

Kurt jumps away from Blaine and carries on reading, "You have the nicest face."

Blaine leaps up, and tackles Kurt, trying to get the phone. Still he's unsuccessful, even though the two of them are on a pile on the kitchen floor.

"And I love you so mu-"

Blaine huffs, finally managing to get the phone from Kurt's hands and sits up on top of Kurt's stomach. Kurt just laughs as Blaine deletes the texts from Kurt's phone, cringing as he reads them through.

"I feel like shit," Blaine says quietly.

"Are you going to throw up?" Kurt asks, sounding concerned.

"No, I don't think so."

"Good," Kurt says, pushing Blaine off of him who lands on the floor with a thump, "Because I've needed to do these favours for so long as you have apparently been so busy, so you're not getting out of this now."

Blaine looks up at Kurt from underneath his eyelashes, giving the best pleading eyes he can but Kurt just kicks Blaine gently in the stomach. "Get up, all the stuff's in the lounge."

 

**

 

The two boys end up sitting on the lounge floor, small bags and chocolates spread out between them as they sort them all out. For such a tedious job, Blaine surprisingly finds himself enjoying it a lot.

He hasn't spent time like this with Kurt in months, maybe years, not since Kurt and Cooper got together anyway.

"So... it's your 21st soon, you doing anything?" Kurt asks.

"Hmm, I think I'm just going to go out because it'll be legal!" Blaine says. "And of course, you're invited. Well, as long as you're not too caught up with wedding stuff..."

"No, no. I'd love to come," Kurt replies, smiling. "We haven't been out together in ages! It'll be fun! We won't bring Cooper, he's the worst around your friends!"

Blaine laughs, "Oh my god, I know. I swear he gets such an ego boost when they're around and we really can't have him getting anymore big headed!"

"I'll make sure he doesn't come," Kurt says, laughing.

 

**

 

_Dear Diary,_

_Life has been so crazy recently, what with Kurt ringing me up at ungodly hours asking my opinions on the wedding or ranting about a fight he and Cooper have had._

_But the other day with Kurt was perfect. I had forgotten how much I have missed him recently. He wants me to help him plan the wedding and I just ~~can't do this~~ I don't know how to plan a wedding. _

_Maybe I'll just-_

_**_

Blaine's phone rings loudly next to him and the minute he sees Kurt on the caller ID, he throws his diary away and answers the phone.

"Hey!"

"Hi, B." Kurt says. "I was wondering if you are free Friday evening?"

"Nope, I don't think I'm doing anything. Unless San drags me out to another bar."

Kurt laughs, "Well, me and Cooper were _supposed_ to be going to a dance class together for the wedding, but he, being the ass he is, can't make it anymore."

Blaine hears a distant, "It's not my fault," obviously from Cooper.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Kurt sighs. "So, do you wanna go with me instead? Since I've already booked it and Cooper's only telling me now that he can't. I really don't want to waste money."

Blaine smiles because this is _great,_ he'll get to spend some time with Kurt alone and wow, maybe it's not such a good idea...

He's quiet for a beat too long. "Blaine? You don't have to, if you don't want to. But it'll be fun and then we can teach Cooper afterwards and see how he fails miserably."

Before Blaine gets the chance to answer, there is a rustling through the phone and he can hear Kurt laughing, "Coop! Get off of me. I swear to god-"

Sighing, Blaine sees that the call has disconnected and it's at times like this that Blaine really hates his brother. He's always there. A constant in Kurt's life and Blaine can't help but be jealous of him.

A text comes through about 30 minutes later, whilst Blaine is sorting out his laundry.

_Sorry about that, Coop's an ass. So, Friday? Yes? No?_

Blaine figures, what the hell. It can't hurt, can it?

_Yeah sure, give me a time and place and I'll be there :)_

**

 

By the time Friday evening comes along, Blaine regrets agreeing to do this dance class with Kurt. After half an hour of dancing together, Blaine is dying for a break. No wonder Cooper bailed, Blaine thinks as they start waltzing around the room yet again.

"How're you holding up?" Kurt asks, laughing at the face Blaine gives him.

"How are you not tired?" Blaine replies just as he falters on a step which makes Kurt laugh.

"I went to NYADA, remember. Cassandra July taught me. You learn not to tire yourself out."

"Oh god," Blaine says, looking up at Kurt. "I remember you complaining about her _all_ the time. She sounded horrific."

Just as Kurt is about to reply, the music stops and the instructor calls out, "Well done, everyone. Let's have a 15 minute break and then we can start again!"

Immediately, Kurt steps away from Blaine and walks towards their bags. He gets out two bottles of water and throws one at Blaine who smiles gratefully back at Kurt.

They’re standing next to each other, gulping down the water when the instructor walks over to them.

“You make an amazing couple,” he says.

Kurt splutters, almost spitting his drink out of his mouth whilst Blaine stares in shock.

“We’re not-“

“I’m not with-“

“I’m marrying his brother.”

The man looks pleased at this and directs his next comment at Blaine.

“Oh, sorry! Well you dance very well anyway.” Blaine who looks away, his cheeks blushing a bright red at the compliment.

“Oh, um, thanks?” Blaine says when it’s obvious Kurt isn’t going to reply.

The guy just smirks at Blaine obviously checking him out, saying, “No problem,” before turning on his heel and walking towards another couple.

Kurt and Blaine stand there awkwardly for a few moments not looking at each other.

Just as the instructor calls them back to dance, Blaine says, “Well, I’m obviously not as bad as a dancer as you always assumed then, huh?”

Kurt snorts, “The only reason he complimented us was because he wanted to check out your ass.”

“Whatever, I’m a better dancer than you.”

Kurt laughs, “You keep telling yourself that, sweetie.” 

 

**

 

When the girls all come out together wearing the dresses Kurt picked out, Blaine thinks they look absolutely gorgeous. As Kurt, Blaine and Finn all praise the girl’s appearances, they blush and preen under the attention.

When it's Blaine and Finn's turn, they try on the tuxes Kurt had selected for them, and luckily nothing had to be altered for either of them- Kurt had measured them perfectly.

This time it’s the girls who gush over how handsome they look and Kurt smiles brightly, clapping his hands together.

"You two look perfect!" He says brightly, jumping up and down in excitement. 

"Yeah, yeah," Finn says. "Your turn next, can I get changed now?"

"Don't be so impatient, Finn," Kurt huffs as they walk to the changing rooms.

It takes Blaine a while to get changed out of his tux and he spends a few minutes taking deep breaths, trying to stop himself from pretending that this is his and Kurt's wedding he's getting fitted for. He lost his chance. 

Blaine steps out of the changing room and hears voices in a neighbouring changing room.

Kurt steps out from behind a curtain and Blaine feels all his breath leave his body. He looks so gorgeous. The suit fits in all the right places, and Blaine can't help but smile.

"Kurt-"

Before he can say anymore, an employee walks past and gives Kurt an appraising look. "You're going to be so happy with your partner," she says.

Blaine doesn't know what happened next, but one minute Kurt was smiling, in this gorgeous tux, the next he was running for the door and down the street.

Blaine panics for a minute, before chasing after him. He'll always go after him.

 

**

 

Blaine sees Kurt through the window of a small cafe, a coke and a large burger sitting in front of him. Immediately, he joins him, walking into the cafe and ordering a burger and a coke, the same as Kurt, and sits down opposite him. Kurt looks up, then picks up the burger and takes a bite.

"Are you going to tell me what this is about?" Blaine asks about 10 minutes later as his own burger arrives.

"Cooper's going to _kill_ me. We've been dieting and exercising and doing it all _together_ and I can't even do that. God, do you _know_ how bad all this grease is for my skin? Why am I eating this damn thing?!"

"Kurt," Blaine says, "What Cooper doesn't know won't hurt." Plus, Blaine thinks, he's seen Cooper plenty of times with a KFC in his hand which makes Blaine irrationally angry. "Also, I'm pretty sure those  dance classes you and Coop are doing will make you lose the calories in no time. That one we went to, I'm pretty sure it almost killed me."

Kurt doesn't laugh, doesn't even smile. He just throws his burger back on the plate, and crosses his arms. "Yeah, well, it hurts me. I can't- I don't even know why-" Kurt huffs in frustration. "Why do I feel like everything's falling apart?" 

"Hey, hey." Blaine says quietly, reaching over and uncrossing Kurt's arms, "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

Kurt sighs, closing his eyes briefly. "How- I don't, um. I can't do this, Blaine."

"Do what?" Blaine asks.

Kurt shudders. "Get married."

Blaine takes hold of Kurt's hand and takes a deep breath. "Yes, you can. You can do it because you love him. You love every little thing about him. All those small little things he does that he doesn't even notice, you love about him. Even when you call me up at 1 in the morning, upset about a fight you've had, you still love him. And as much as you pretend to hate it when he doesn't fold his clothes, or wash up his dishes, you secretly love it because it's him and that's never going to change. He'll always be there for you, no matter what and you want to promise yourself to him."

Blaine closes his eyes, trying to get Kurt to understand. _I'm talking about you, you idiot, I love you, I love you._ "You love him, Kurt, so much. That's why you _can_ do this."

Blaine hears Kurt take in a long shuddering breath. "God, Blaine. What would I do without you?"

Blaine smiles briefly. "You're allowed to have at least one crisis, right?"

"I guess so," Kurt says. "I love you."

Blaine's breath hitches in his throat, "I love you, too."

Kurt gets up slowly, dusting off the tux. "We'd better get back. Or they'll charge me for this tux and I _really_ don't want this one. And the girls, I left them all there, alone with Finn. And Rachel..."

"Hey, don't worry. We'll sort it all out." Blaine says, getting up himself and leaving more than enough money on the table for their food.

As they leave the cafe and walk back up the street, Kurt links his arm through Blaine's, the crisis he had was forgotten.

"-maybe I'll make it myself, do you think I could do that? I already have one designed and I can get all the materials from work. I think I have the time. It’s not like I’m designing anyone else’s."

"Of course, you can, Kurt. You can do anything." Blaine replies, smiling at Kurt as he tries to ignore the emotions rising inside of him.

 

**

 

 

_there was a time when all we_

_would do was_

_get out that little old_

_scrapbook full to the brim_

_with ideas of colours and_

_tuxes and flowers and_

_recipes._

_we would link our fingers_

_making promises to ourselves_

_and each other_

_you would write notes_

_all over the photos and_

_magazine cuttings_

_and i would draw small_

_doodles of what i dreamed_

_together_

_we would trail our fingers_

_over each other’s work and_

_smile wistfully_

_and i know that you still have_

_our little scrapbook_

_maybe its buried within the_

_depths of your new life_

_but sometimes i wonder_

_if you are using it now?_

 

 

**

 

By the time Kurt got to the bar, Blaine had already had many shots thrust upon him causing him to be extremely drunk.

"Kurrrt!" Blaine shouts, running up to him and throwing his arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Kurt laughs as Blaine hugs him tighter.

"Hey you." Kurt says, smiling at Blaine's intoxicated state. "Happy birthday!"

"Mmm, yeah, I'm twen'y one. It's my birthday!" Blaine almost starts shouting towards the end, and throws his arms up in the air.

Kurt ducks away, laughing. "Jesus, Blaine. I don't think I've seen you this drunk in years."

Blaine just wraps his arms around Kurt's waist, snuggling into his chest. "People keep givin' me drinks!"

Kurt hums, "Sorry I'm late, things for the wedding took longer than-"

"Nope," Blaine slurs, pressing a finger to cuts lips, stopping him speaking. "No wedding talk tonight, 'kay? You are gonna drink, and dance, and forget about your wedding and stuff, yeah?"

Kurt laughs and removes Blaine's finger from his lips, "Okay, okay, but you're going to need to let go of me so I can get a drink..."

"Huh?" Blaine says, then looks down at himself and pulls himself away from Kurt. "Oh, yeah."

Blaine stumbles back to his friends, announcing to them all that Kurt has arrived.

Santana groans, "Yes, Blaine. We know. You've already told us."

"Wha'ever, 'Tana." Blaine mumbles back, resting his head on the shoulder of whoever is next to him.

Blaine hears someone sitting down on the other side of him, and he looks up and realises that it was Sam he had rested his head on.

Laughing to himself Blaine turns to Kurt, who has 3 shots in front of him and what looks like a vodka and coke.

"What're you laughing at?" Kurt asks, smiling.

Blaine just shrugs and steals one of Kurt's shots.

Kurt laughs, "Yes, Blaine. You can have that."

Blaine smiles and pour it down his throat. He cringes immediately. "Ew! Sambuca!"

"Serves you right for stealing it," Kurt says, before taking a shot himself, cringing slightly as well.

Blaine gets up quickly, stumbling slightly as he regains his balance, feeling lightheaded. "I wanna dance," he says. "Come on, Kurt. Let's dance."

"Okay, okay. Let me finish my drink first!"

 

**

 

Blaine doesn't manage to sober up by the time everyone's leaving and neither does Kurt. Although, he pretends to be. Blaine wants to stay for a little bit longer and Kurt decides to stay with him.

Blaine watches his friends leave; Santana with some girl, so he has the apartment to himself. He thinks that maybe she is hinting something, but he's not entirely sure. When he mentions it to Kurt, Kurt laughs and agrees that she probably is. It is Santana, after all.

Kurt and Blaine dance some more, have a few drinks, then dance again. They stay until it begins to empty out and they decide to walk back to Blaine's instead of getting a taxi because _night in New York City is great, Kurt, it's all so pretty!_

They're half way back, when Blaine grabs Kurt's hand and huddles closer into him, like they used to dream of doing, back when they were in high school.

"I miss you," Blaine sighs, looking up at Kurt.

"I see you all the time?" Kurt asks, slurring slightly.

Blaine just hums, thinking that, yes, he sees Kurt every Friday, but he missed them as a _couple._ Even in his intoxicated state, Blaine knows it's a bad idea to say _that._

Kurt squeezes Blaine's hand slightly and starts talking about other things. His job at Vogue, the new promotion, how great tonight was, how pretty the sky looks, and Blaine barely replies. But he doesn't need to. Listening to Kurt like this is enough for him.

Finally, they reach Blaine's building, and Blaine tells Kurt to just stay here for tonight. It's too late to be going home _alone_ now. Cooper won't mind anyway.

Kurt smiles and trails after Blaine as he enters the building, fingers still linked together.

Before Blaine opens the door, he decides that he doesn't want to go in just yet. So he pulls Kurt away, ignoring his questions and leads them both up the stairs.

They climb to the top, and go through a fire exit, emerging out on the roof of the building. The buildings of New York are towering around them. Lights flashing all over and the stars shining bright. It's silent though, no sound except the breathing of the two men.

Kurt breathes in. "It's beautiful."

"I know," Blaine says, dragging Kurt down to sit, leaning against the wall behind them.

They sit in silence for a while, taking in their surroundings and each other’s company.

"Kurt," Blaine says quietly, looking over at him.

"Yeah?" He replies, looking back.

"You're beautiful." Blaine says breathlessly, before leaning forwards and pressing his lips on Kurt's in a short kiss.

When Blaine pulls away, Kurt's eyes are still closed. But before Blaine can move further away, Kurt opens his eyes briefly before pulling Blaine back into a kiss. Pressing harder this time and much more sure, Blaine puts everything he has into the kiss. His mouth is pliant under Kurt's.

He's missed this so much. Not just kissing, but kissing _Kurt._ He dreams of this sometimes, the ghost of Kurt's lips on his. But nothing can compare to the real thing.

They kiss and kiss until eventually they make their way back to Blaine's room where they collapse on his bed and sleep almost instantly.

 

**

 

Kurt isn't there the next morning, but Blaine didn't expect him to be. He is shocked, though, to find a glass of water and some aspirin on his bedside table.

Blaine groans as he remembers everything that happened and feels the tell-tale signs of a hangover throughout his body.

He gets out of bed, sighing and makes himself some coffee.

He really doesn't want to face reality anytime soon.

 

**

 

_Dear Diary,_

_Tomorrow I'm going wine tasting with Kurt._

_It’s the first time we'll actually be together since my birthday. I've called him and stuff, but he just doesn't remember anything, or he just hasn't said anything and I don't blame him if he is pretending._

_Hopefully, we don't get too drunk together. It always ends with mistakes._

_Actually, scratch that, I hope I don't get drunk at all. I don't think you're actually supposed to drink too much at these things..._

_**_

They do end up drinking a lot. More than they had expected. It probably wasn’t the best idea for them to keep stealing extra drinks whilst the barman went off in search of more wine. As the day progresses, Blaine finds himself becoming more and more drunk but he also finds himself laughing so much more than he has in months

Every single time the man leaves the room, Kurt tops up their wine glasses and they try and finish it before he gets back. 

Blaine thinks that maybe this is Kurt’s way of dealing with what happened between them. If Kurt wanted to forget then Blaine isn’t going to stop him. He’s already caused enough problems for Kurt, he’s not going to cause anymore.

So they drink and they drink until they can’t even remember which wines they liked the best.

**

 

For once, when Blaine walks into the apartment after class, it's silent. He's surprised; he rarely gets the place to himself and- wait. Shouldn't Cooper be here by now?

"Cooper?" Blaine calls out, in case he didn't hear him coming in through the door. He doesn't expect an answer so he jumps slightly when he hears movement from another room.

"In here," a quiet voice replies from the lounge, so Blaine heads towards it. When is Cooper ever this quiet, he wonders.

He reaches the room and finds Cooper with his back hunched facing away from Blaine, holding something in his hands.

"Tell me this is from high school."

Blaine stares in shock at the book in Cooper's hands, gripping it so tightly it looks like it might break. Blaine opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. _What can he do?_

"Blaine," Cooper cries out. "Please."

That damn book, that book which holds every single detail of the past months of Blaine's life. Every thought, every feeling is clutched in Cooper's grip.

There is no way Cooper didn't see.

"I- Cooper," Blaine starts, tears gathering in his eyes. "What- um, I don't know what to say."

They stand there in silence as Cooper throws the book in Blaine's direction but it ends up falling at Blaine's foot. Open on yesterday's page.

"I thought you were okay with us?" Cooper says, voice rising. "I thought you were over him. I thought-"

"I'm sorry, Cooper," Blaine says, quietly, arms wrapped around himself, making him look so young.

"I can't do this to you," Cooper says, walking closer to Blaine.

Blaine looks up frantically, "No. No. I'm fine. I will be fine."

"Blaine."

"I-"

"I'm not going to marry the man my brother is in love with. We've only just got our relationship back together and I'm not going to ruin that, okay?"

"Cooper, you can't-"

"I can, and I will," he says, drawing Blaine in for a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," Blaine sniffs, trying to hold in his tears.

Cooper pulls away from Blaine, eyes suspiciously red. "I- I should go. I need to talk to Kurt."

"Coop-"

"Blaine, I'm doing this. No matter what you say."

Blaine sits down on the couch, head in his hands as Cooper leaves the apartment, wondering what the hell just happened.

His eyes fall onto the book on the floor and he reads the entry he wrote last night.

 

**

 

_if i had the Courage, a poem_

_by Blaine Anderson_

_i would tell you what you_

_really mean_

_to me_

_how your eyes sparkle and_

_shine.  whenever i look at_

_you it makes my stomach_

_flutter and twirl and_

_how your smile makes my_

_own lips curl up.  unable to_

_resist the temptation and_

_how your singing makes me_

_stop and stare.  it makes me_

_wonder how you are real_

_and wonder if what i am_

_feeling is a fantasy and_

_how your speech is so very_

_elegant.  it seems to twirl in_

_the air as i realise that i can_

_never get enough of you and_

_how your gorgeous laughter_

_causes my head to turn.   i_

_can’t help but feel_

_undeniably grateful because_

_someone is making you_

_happy but_

_i don’t have the Courage_

_and that person  who is_

_causing you to be filled_

_with so much joy_

_isn’t me_

*

 

Blaine wakes up with a crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch and too loud, relentless knocks on the door.

He gets up to answer the door, assuming it's Santana and she's forgotten her keys again but the moment the door opens Blaine stands there in shock.

It's Kurt.

Looking at the expression on his face, Blaine recoils from him and takes a step backwards allowing Kurt to enter.

Kurt moves in a whirlwind the moment Blaine steps back, chasing after him.

"This is all your fault!" Kurt shouts at Blaine, poking his chest, "I was happy! I was getting over you. I had a chance with someone else, but you're always there. You ruined it, Blaine! Why are you always there?"

"Kurt, I-"

"No, I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend."

"What are you-"

"I tried so fucking hard," Kurt says, frustration leaking into his voice, "I almost married _your brother,_ Blaine because he reminded me so much of _you._ And I didn't even realise."

"Kurt-"

"I've been so stupid, Blaine," Kurt cries, moving closer to Blaine and cupping his hand on Blaine's jaw.

"I love you, so much," he says, before leanings towards him and crushing their lips together in a frantic kiss.

Blaine loses himself in the kiss, heart beating erratically, memorising the feel of Kurt's lips against his.

He pulls away quickly. "Wait, Kurt, I can't do this to Cooper."

Kurt smiles at Blaine sadly. "He told me to come here."

 

**

 

Blaine lays on his bed with his head on Kurt’s naked chest as he listens to the heartbeat thrumming beneath him. He’s content and so very happy to stay exactly where he is but he knows they can’t. He knows that they will have to talk about it eventually.

“Stop thinking so much,” Kurt says, stroking his fingers absentmindedly through Blaine’s hair.

“We’re going to have to talk about it, you know that.”

“I do, but it doesn’t mean I can enjoy right now,” Kurt replies, pressing a kiss to the top of Blaine’s head.

Blaine just smiles and entwines his hand with Kurt’s and they lay there together, basking in their happiness; not thinking about the future. Blaine knows that it doesn’t matter how long it takes,   they will always find a way to be together.

 

**

 

“So,” Cooper begins cautiously, sitting opposite Blaine in a small coffee shop, “When are you going to ask him?”

“Ask who what?”

“I’m not going waste a hell of a lot of money for a wedding that wasn’t planned for me.”

Blaine frowns, “What are you talking about Cooper? I’ve already ap-“

“Not what I mean, squirt. And anyway, I should be thanking you. I mean, this whole experience, whilst heartbreaking has seriously improved my acting skills. There’s so much for me to draw from and-“

“Back to the point, Coop,” Blaine sighs.

“Oh, oh right. Anyway, as I was saying…”

“Cooper! Stop with the dramatic pauses!”

“When are you going to ask Kurt to marry you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the gleereversebb 2013.  
> Thanks to lokicorey for the amazing trailer! ([here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXPJSIm9eR4&feature=youtu.be))  
> And to Leia for beta'ing. Also Celine for helping me along the way.


End file.
